Why I Stand

"For the survivor who chooses to testify, it is clear: his duty is to bear witness for the dead and the living. He has no right to deprive future generations of a past that belongs to our collective memory. To forget would be not only dangerous but offensive; to forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time. The witness has forced himself to testify. For the youth of today, for the children who will be born tomorrow. He does not want his past to become their future." Elie Wiesel, Night, Preface to the New Translation (New York: Hill and Wang, c2006), page xv.

The words of Elie Wiesel, the Nobel laureate and Holocaust survivor stand as a testament to why we must never forget this dark period of human history.

Recently I was told by someone I love and respect:

You should just forget that ever happened to you.  You were a child, you didn’t know and don’t remember what was going on behind the scenes.  You had no control over what happened to you, so you just need to forget all about it.  Every time you write or speak about what happened to you are embarrassing your parents.   

There seems to be a lot of that sentiment floating around regarding us waifs.

Don’t talk about your experiences because it is upsetting to us.  Do not discuss problems with adoption or foster care because you may hurt some ones feelings, your APs, birth parents, foster parents, or abandoners may feel picked on.  


You were fed, clothed, and survived you childhood what more is there anyone needs to know?  What could possibly be left to discuss?  And why do you insist on trying to make us think about how our actions affect others?

I can not speak for anyone else out here, but I know I do it for the kids.  I do it for MY kids and I do it for my foster kin.

I am the third generation of my immediate family who spent time being raised by people other than our parents for various reasons.  Think about that for a seconded and tell me that I should forget all about MY history.  Think about that and tell me I should shut up.

“Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it” ~ George Santayana

I am not attempting to directly compare our struggles with the atrocities of slavery or the Holocaust.  We do not study slavery in this country to persecute white people in general.  We do not build Holocaust memorials and museums to embarrass the German people as a whole.  We do it collectively because there lessons to be learned about what happens when we as humans lose sight of the rights and humanity of others, and children are little humans with real feelings and rights of their own.  

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart. ~ Anne Frank

There will always be children like us, who will inevitably end up in the care of relatives and strangers.  There will always be "good people" who mean well and want to help children in need.  I speak out about my past in hopes of helping those "good people" preserve the future of the children in their care.