Friday, June 17, 2011

Who Stole The Cookies From The Cookie Jar…Adoptee…That’s Who…You Little Piggie-Pooh


He stole food from the cupboard, the refrigerator and the household garbage, Hardy said. One day, the boy scooped up from the ground and put in his mouth beans that were covered with ants from a picnic-ground parking lot, Hardy said.

That, though, didn't mean the child was hungry, the defendant said. It meant he had the habit of eating everything in sight.

adoptive parents torture trial guilty: Jurors find adoptive father guilty of neglect -  Brought to my attention by The Adopted Ones

There are a few things that come up when talking about foster or adopted children and child well fair that flat out Piss! Me! Off!

One of those being the premise that foster and of adopted children are stealing food.

Let us get this straight once and for all. Consuming food in your own home, whether you are naturally born, a foster child or adopted IS NOT STEALING. Consuming food in your own home without permission… IS NOT STEALING! It may be against the rules, defiant, or inconsiderate but it… Is not stealing!

Removing food from your home and selling it to friends…now that IS stealing. Whipping your ass with my toilet paper…IS NOT STEALING, it is here for the use of the people in my home. Taking rolls home without my permission…IS STEALING.

Moving food from designated areas and hiding it…IS NOT STEALING. It is hording.

Foster and adopted children can have issues revolving around food, it is true. Those issues are a direct result of past neglect, institutionalization and is a perfectly understandable coping mechanism and or survival instinct. Withholding or restricting the availability of a traumatized child’s food is not going to do anything to help them heal. It will in fact exacerbate their inability to feel safe and secure, and keep them in biologically driven desperation mode.

The only way for a traumatized child to overcome their deep seeded and perfectly understandable fear of starvation is to make sure that they learn, over time (a long time) that they will always have access to food, all of the time whenever THEY feel hunger.

If you don’t want your foster or adoptive children eating junk…how about you don’t bring it into your home.

You are tired of finding food hidden all over their room…try what LT suggests and provide them with nonperishable healthy food and an airtight container that they can keep their own safety stash in a designated place.

Afraid they will over eat…they may at first. But over time, and it may take a long time they will learn and retrain their brain and know that they will not starve, they will not be hungry again.

You think they will become overweight…welcome to America. Again, the types of food you provide are up to you. Ironically, by the time we the public hear about these so-called adopted and fostered food thieves, as in the above case or  this patient of Dr. Ronald Federici, they are malnourished, and their ‘parents’ are being charged with abuse and neglect.

Do you think that everything should be better and your fostered of adopted child should magically know that they can feel safe and secure in your love and care because they have been rescued and you brought them home…I am sorry to be the one to tell your this, that just is not how that works.

Food is not and has never been a discipline strategy, a bargaining chip, a reward, or the appropriate focus of a power struggle; it is a basic human right of every child, even those who are adopted or in foster care!

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