Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My Long Gone, Almost Forgotten Religious Upbringing

Sunday Koffron (baby J),
Amy Koffron (Mary)
Stranger things can happen and frequently do to me.  

….I ran a crossed this article 'The effects of divorce on children' by Barbara Meng, this essay outlines and supports many of my concerns and ideas about divorce and how it affects children.  She even touches on my biggest pet-peeve myth phrase “children are resilient”... I don’t think that it would be strange that research supports my views, Duh.  What was strange to me is that I found it at What? 

My grandpa, (Died June 7th, 2001, god knows I miss him) was born and raised catholic as were all of his kin before him and after him, I assume; he even went to catholic schools back in Iowa, before his mom brought him to Detroit.  My father was also born, baptized and raised catholic, and attended a catholic college at the University of Detroit back when they had a football team.  At my dad’s insistence my older sister Amy went to catechism and had her first communion.  I was baptized Catholic and remember my dad taking us to mass and teaching us to make the sign of the cross after our dinner prayer.  

All of that was before the divorce, before the lawyers, attorneys, judges, social workers, before my dad got remarried and converted to Judaism, my mom converted to Alcoholics Anonymous and became celibate (well, that was MUCH later), before I was a ward of the state and went to foster care.  

I occasionally tell people “I spent half my childhood being raised by lesbian grad students from U of M.”, and I am only half joking.  Many of my care takers fit that description and I still rarely shave my legs, I say in solidarity if asked, laziness in truth. I have always thought of myself as a hard core humanist liberal (although, I have a healthy respect for the healing powers of personal responsibility).  I am one of those spiritual but, not religious people.   Conservative? No, not me, never!   

So how do I explain this? It would be unwise to throw away the truth just because it is coming form an unexpected source.   And…Maybe, just possibly, it is just another case of the chickens coming home to roost.  

Not just as Christians as People, Humans and Parents
"With all of these negatives for children of divorce, parents should think twice before they give up on their marriage. If they only knew from the start the disaster their divorce would inflict on themselves, their children and their grandchildren, perhaps they would willing to go the extra mile and try with every ounce of their strength, and much prayer, to work things out. As Christians, we have the obligation to gently warn them of the terrible effects of divorce on children, and do all in our power to be "marriage savers.""
~ Barbara Meng



I think you should not be confuzzled by this. I think you are just a smart woman who knows the TRUTH when she sees it. These effects of divorce on children are terrible, and true. You know it from your own experience, and from your observant, understanding, and caring mind. Keeping your mind open to what is out there, and what "the other side" is saying is the only way to truly know what "side" you stand on, and if you are still on the right "side". Each topic has its own sides, they are not determined by any political party. I am an Evangelical Christian. Christ is the most important thing in my life. I love Christ more than my family. You don't feel that way, but we have a lot in common nonetheless. We are compassionate about the proper care of children, for example. We understand each person comes from somewhere and there is a reason they are where they are at, and they are to be respected and given a chance. Every person has value. This is a command of Christ. Either way, I just plain feel this way! I think you do too. You don't just dump me in the trash because we hold some different views. I think the divide among people is way bigger than it has to be. For example, who can argue with this study? I am a product of divorce - I KNOW!

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