What's In a Name?

In an earlier post I touched on the subject of changing the names of adoptees, I was pointing out that this was tactic used by slave owners to strip the pride, identity and culture from their slaves.  Linda (not my mother, Linda) talks more about her perspective here.


My intolerance for name shenanigans goes back to when I was about 5 years-old and the family a cross the street changed their name form a very long polish name to a VERY nondescript name which was only four letters long..  (Not to be confused with being changed to a four letter word)

Our families were very close, so close in fact that shortly after their respective divorces my dad and the lady a cross the street were engaged for a couple of years, but didn’t end up married. Anyway…Moving on…I just did not understand why they would all change their family name. 

But why would they change their name? I would ask.

Because it is hard to spell.

So, is my name (I was 5)

It is hard to pronounce correctly.

So is Koffron

They want to have a name that sounds more American.

I thought they were proud to be polish. 

They are but they don’t want to stand out.

Oh, so they don’t want people to know they are polish. 

Tell my about your REAL name mommy…

When I was born my name was Jacqueline Jean Lessard.  When your Grandma and Grandpa Andrews adopted me at 12 the judge asked what I wanted to change my name to, I didn’t know, I did not have much time to think so I picked the most common sounding name I could think of.  I told the judge I liked Linda Lee.  So that is how I became Linda Lee Andrews.

I like your old name better, why didn’t you keep it?

I don’t think I had much a choice, besides I liked my new name, I thought it was cute and I wanted to fit in.  And you guys named me SUNDAY?  What were you thinking?

I think you should have kept your old one.  Why don’t you change it back?

It is too late now, I have been Linda now longer than I was Jacquie.

Years later my mother found and went to see her natural father when I was 15 or 16.  I did not live with her then.   He told her he was called Jack Minor for 14 years, until his parents died.  It was then he found out that his birth name was Jerold Lessard, and that his “sister” was actually his mother.  To those out side of the adoption loop, stories like that seem fantastic, but they are more common then one might think.

The Koffron part of my family have not been free of name shenanigans and drama either as I had mentioned in an earlier post.  My youngest (s)brother was two or three when my dad and his wife got married.  When my little (s)brother started school his mom let him use Koffron (my dad's last name) as his last name.  The way I understand it his real father got wind of this took offense and the issue of his name made it to court and the court ordered that my (s)brother and my parents use my (s)brother’s legal name.  His “parents” told him for years that he would just legally change his name to Koffron when he turned 18; and he did. I am not sure he really chose to change his name on his own or were years of being told he would the subtle coercion and manipulation of an innocent child. My guess he will never truly know either.

Was my (s)brother’s real dad a dead beat who was out of the picture? Nope.  Dr. J was very much around.  Not only did his name change remove his connection to his real father, it disconnected him from his two older brothers who he no longer shares a last name with.  Did my father legally adopt him?   Oh no, no, no, that was not the case at all, that would have had caused “ramifications”.  

Nobody wants “ramifications” for their actions.  Hell, I dare say “ramifications” could cause discomfort.    

Some people change names

To hide their ethnicity

To appear more ethnic

To strip identity

To appear to be related to people you are not.  (without the “Ramifications”)

To irritate and punish ex-husbands

To seem more interesting or exotic

To stand out

To fit in

In my opinion the roots of each of these is contempt (for reality), illusion and deceit. 

And some I respect do so to take back what was rightfully theirs in the first place.

But then again maybe I should just change my name to “Candy Cain Surprise” and call it a day.  I bet that would make some people very happy.