Now let me just show you what I am dealing with here. When I tell her she has to clean the bathroom she says, “It’s not like you care if it is clean or not. It is always a mess” the way only an almost 13 year old girl can. “Oh, I do care, I do clean it, and I think YOU should experience for yourself what it feels like to clean up after other people, just to have them muck it up within seconds!” I supervised, and stood over her the entire time she was cleaning with helpful instructions. And even when she is at her worst, she is hilarious, singing, “it’s a hard knock life”, while she worked, she still has no idea. No sooner than she finished scrubbing the (white) floor, did her two little sisters come trotting in fresh from their mud hole and hopped their muddy selves into the shower. I couldn’t have planned it any better, that is if I had. As her proud face fell into an expression of exasperation, all I could do is smile, shrug my shoulders and say, “and that is exactly how I have spent the last 12 years – welcome to my world.”
The girl has even asked me to watch old project runway episodes on hulu and do her hair just about every day since we dropped the hammer. Neither has happened in a very long time. Who knows maybe she was she was feeling a little too disconnected to fast. Maybe with limits comes the feeling security. I still don’t think she will be thanking me anytime soon. But I am grateful that we were apparently able to give her what she needed and certainly wasn’t about to ask for.
Can you imagine? “Hey, mom I am nervous about going out of town without you guys and I am not sure I like having so much freedom. You think you could just stick a little closer to me?” That’s not gonna happen but it would sure make the life of a parent much easier.
