…again.
In honor of Mother's Day, I'm changing my profile picture to a photo of my mom until May 9. If you like this idea, please change your profile picture to one of your mom. Please repost this as your status so everyone gets the word, and let's see how many beautiful mothers we can get on FB
That’s right, Mothers Day.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t begrudge any of my friends having mothers that that they adore and want to honor. Heck, for that matter without some of those mothers I would have no clue as to what I am supposed to be doing here.
But who would I be changing my profile to?
Linda? Yeah, she tried for a while. Technically she is my mother. I have some memories of her before the divorce attempting to DO the things she thought a mother might do. I clearly do not remember any emotion, other than resentment attached to those motherly actions. I do not ever remember her being a mothering or nurturing influence in my life. I wish I did, but I don’t. It just wasn’t there.
After she came back for us we were treated as accessories, or rather, baggage. We were dragged along on her adventures, her meetings, to coffee with her friends. She even us trotted out in the middle of the night to sleep on some strangers couch during her “dates'”. She said she had children because she wanted to be loved. It was true, it hadn’t worked as well as she hoped, she resented it and we knew it.
She has her reasons for being the way she was. She was abused, neglected and abandoned. She expected her own children to feel and be as obligated to her as her foster and adoptive parents expected of her. But she also had plenty of opportunities to do things differently, we always have choices.
My sister Amy? Who has always tried to take care of us.
Patti? The worlds greatest nanny, who did the best she could to take care of us and protect us from our parent’s games of revenge at the young age of nineteen.
Linda Q? My “Surrogate Mother” and teacher extraordinaire from AHC.
Joyce? She was what we called my one on one, my personal staff who was supposed to be responsible for my case. She is easily one of the most influential people in my life…ever. She gave me power, she made me see myself the way she saw me, worthy, strong, capable and responsible for my own actions. She subtly acknowledged my anger, understood my indignation and gave me permission to expect to be treated with respect regardless of anyone’s title. Not to say that i absorbed and lived those lessons immediately, but they were there swimming around to be drawn on when I was ready.
My Momma? Well if I were going to change my profile picture in honor of Mother’s Day it would be to hers.
From the day we met until the day she left here, she had no obligation to me what-so-ever, but she never let that stand in her way. Her door was always open; there were always a kind word and encouragement, somewhere to lay my head and something good on the stove and I was loved…Always.
Always. Angry Sunday…Always. Sad Sunday…Always. AWOL Sunday…Always. Slutty Sunday…Always. Drunk Sunday…Always. Homeless Sunday…Always. Shit-together Sunday…Always. Always.
I won’t be changing my profile picture in honor of mother’s day, but I won’t mind at all if you do.
