Monday, November 29, 2010

What in God's Name?

So how is it that well meaning people get it so twisted up? 

We have private adoption agencies offering up black children for adoption at a 40% discount, or as commenter Maryann pointed out 3/5 of the value of white children. (Anyone remember that from your High School History Class?).    

We apparently have some people who feel like they are “forced” to adopt internationally because they can’t afford a domestic white child and do not want to adopt a lower cost black child.

Some believe and I fear that what we have are some “racists” adopting cheaper black children.”

It has been my observation that people who hold racist beliefs do not view themselves as racist.    I absolutely think it is possible that white people who have racist views would adopt children of color, and believe that they are doing a wonderful thing in the process. 

When I clicked on the link to the Judge Judy commenter’s blog, I found that this infinitely wise and spiritual avid Judge Judy watcher is in the process of raising the “ransom” to pay for her yet unborn female infant who is apparently residing in some other woman’s uterus in Ethiopia.  She says this unborn child is already hers, because god has predestined it:

This child belongs to no one. And she is female. She has no power. Any intellect and ambition that may be etched in her soul and personality would be cast aside in the daily struggle to survive. If she survives at all in a land of desperate statistics. We, by contrast, have all the power in the world. We're educated, we're healthy, we're wealthy, we're well connected. There is little we could not accomplish, if we chose to do so.”

Somewhere there is a woman who is pregnant with a girl. The woman will make a great sacrifice to give her life - either by her own death, or by handing the child who has kicked her womb for months to strangers with a desperate plea for them to care for her. The sacrifice will not be easy. The sacrifice will be costly.”

 We will give her our name so that all the world will know that she belongs to us and is a rightful heir to all of the riches we possess. We will ask her to call us Daddy and Momma and we will always answer her when she does. Then we will bring our child back to our life and our family and our home and our hearts and she will be an orphan no more.”
 ~ Missy At it’s Almost Nap Time

When I read these statements, I do not see “god’s love”, I do not see the beauty of charity or benevolence, as I am sure the author wholeheartedly does.

What I see is the images in my Jr. High Humanities book, my High School Black History book, clips from Roots flash through my head, I recall passages of The Autobiography of Malcolm X .  I am sorry, I do not see beauty.

I see an image of my Mother’s father in a bar trying to sell her to payoff a gambling debt, I story I was told so long ago, that I do not ever remember not knowing it. 

I see the British colonization of India, the Dutch colonization of South Africa;   I see The Trail of Tears, I see a long history of “Christian Missionaries” taming savages contingent on the acceptance of their god and their ways.  I see human trafficking.  I see the slave trade.   

I see an Ethiopian mother facing the choice of selling her daughter to ‘wealthy, powerful, connected Americans who could accomplish just about anything they choose’ to provide for her family. 

These saved, 'orphaned', bought children will grow up and go to your church and you will teach them about Moses the original so called Angry Adoptee, to your schools and learn about slaves like Nat Turner (He thought he was following god's plan too.), check out books from the library, will read poems by Langston Hughes, hear quotes by Malcolm X, see clips from Roots and they will see what I see.  They will not be grateful to be stolen from their land, their home, which you call hell, they will not be grateful for their stolen names, they will not be grateful for their stolen religion, they will not be grateful for their stolen culture.

They will learn math and they will see that with all of your wealth you chose to destroy their family, so that you could ‘ransom’ them and make them ‘your own’ rather than save their brothers, sisters and Mothers.  They will calculate that with the cost of a $1,600 plane fare to rescue your ‘ransomed’ infant from their rightful place on earth you could have provided for their entire natural family for 8 years.  They will calculate that the tens of thousands of dollars you paid for their ‘ransom’ could have feed their entire village and provided the women with free birth control for a decade.   They will not see your act as charity; they will learn to see it as it is, commerce, arrogance and American greed.

These bought children will grow to read, calculate and think for themselves.  They will come to have their own vision of the truth and they will not see their desperate mothers and countrymen as their captors from which they needed to be ‘ransomed’.  They will reserve that judgment for you. 

And they will be ANGRY.

No, I do not see the face of Jesus in the buying and selling of children. 

There are 140,000 kids who through no fault of their own are currently available for adoption in the foster care system, right here in our own back yard.  (No 'ramsom' required)

* This post is a part of my National Adoption Awareness Month, a post every day in November campaign, to remind perspective adoptive parents that there are 140,000 kids for whom family preservation is not an option, who through no fault of their own are currently available for adoption in the U. S. foster care system, right here in our own back yard.  If you are considering adoption please consider adopting a foster child or becoming a foster parent.  It could change a child’s life.


Linda said...

Oh, sweet Jesus...what a freaking nutjob this one is. I posted "If you are so wealthy, why the need to sell coffee and t-shirts to purchase this child?"

How are these idiots allowed to adopt???? Oh, and she's naming this one "Bethie". yeah....THAT'S a good, strong Ethiopian name, huh?

Ethiopia is THE hotbed of human trafficking right now....hopefully, not for long.

Sunday said...

The export of children as commodities has to be stopped! Do we as a people NEVER learn?

Linda, I started reading her stuff and I was just in awe! It is unbelievable that an adoptee could be sitting around waiting fro some birth mom to (supposedly) kick so she can take her baby. But then adoption doses a lot of damage and like I say that damage can be passed down to the next generation. But she is not alone in her convictions.

You know how I feel about the name game, that is why I added the links to Malcolm X!

Von said...

I'm with you, all the way.It's unethical, immoral and repugnant.Posting a link if I may on the post I've just written and I'm about to post

Sunday said...

I would be honored Von!

Von said...

Thanks Sunday, great post and one with issues very dear to my heart.x

Anastasia said...

I think everyone is a little racist. Whether they want to admit it or not.

I agree with you on adopting here. There are so many kids I work with that work so hard just to have someone love and accept them. And then they get bitter because "no one wants" them. They stop trying, they grow up, they have kids and the cycle repeats itself.

Anonymous said...

This was the nut job who wrote the famous post "I don't want my children to be happy". About sums it up.

Just Me said...

Oh. My. F!@#$%^. G&*.

I just can't even say anything else about what that lady wrote.

Tammy said...

My Lord Sunday, you are an incredible, powerful writer! I would do anything I could to encourage you to write more and for an audience that would pay you!

Linda said...

Speaking of racism, we always hear transracial adopters say, "I don't see color. Love is color blind."

It is for them. Their transracial adoptling does not see it that way, and suffer the consequences of transracial adoption every day.

That is a statement adopters use to justify their purchase. The world is NOT colorblind.

Von said...

Being colourblind is being racist because it says background, race,culture are unimportant. We know they are vitally important to all.White adopters cannot prepare children of colour for racism.Love unfortunately does not conquer all.

Sunday said...

Anastasia - think you are right in the sense that our perspectives are formed by our exposure to other cultures, if all someone knows about the black community is what they see on Judge Judy and what they see on the news, you can bet there is a lot they are missing.

osolomama – all I can say is I was blown away! The good news is as Von said in a recent post, maybe we should be glad that some of these clueless nuts are speaking freely and widely. They will do more for adoption reform with their frivolity and insensitivity, than the so-called Angry Adoptees ever could.

Just Me – Exactly!

Tammy – I love you! However I think you have been grading too many 6th grade English papers!

Von - you took the words right out of my mouth. Saying one does not see color is like saying one does not see the sun, it would be delusional to deny its presence. It is actually dismissive of ones culture, heritage and being.

That being said, I an not totally against some white people adopting children out of the foster care system.
When they live in a very diverse area themselves
When they have a diverse community of friends and relatives
When they do realize that there is an added responsibility, not going to pretend that there isn’t. and on and on with the conditions.

Linda – If adoption is so color blind I want to see the hidden camera news expose of the wealthy black couple walking into private adoption agencies insisting that nothing but a high price white baby will do for them. I guarantee the agency would come up with 101 reasons that would be a bad idea!

Sunday said...

I ment black children. ...and there were no other options...

Fifi said...

I agree with opinions about the farce of international adoption. People really don't want to own up to their selfish controlling tendencies (hard to control an older, traumatised child from foster care). It's really hard to adopt from overseas from here in Australia, which I think is a good thing. Debra Lee Furness and Hugh Jackman had to buy children through the US. Not sure how, since they are not citizens there, but I guess money talks, especially in child trafficking.
I was wondering though if black babies being cheaper than white ones also helped black families to adopt? Perhaps the purchase price needs to be scaled according to income rather than the features of the baby if that is so.
It's impossible to adopt a black baby here in Australia, because of Native Title rights, which is a good thing politically and economically for whole communities, but not necessarily for the individual child, as there are not enough safe black families for the number of kids in care. That's sad.
"Right to Adopt": that's so messed up.

Sunday Koffron Taylor said...

Fifi, I think some would have you believe that black children cost less to make adoption more affordable to black families. But that is not really the case. It has more to do with supply and demand, more slack kids than back families. In this country the black community is more likely to unofficially adopt, or seek guardianship without government interference. Once the government or outside agencies get involved, black children are less likely to be adopted by black families because of a longstanding mistrust of the government due to decades of unfair treatment by that government. Which makes for a sad situation for the kids. Like I said I am not totally against transracial adoption, under some circumstance.

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