Yet again I find myself asking: “What was I thinking?”

I singed up for She Writes National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo), a commitment to post every day in November.  (As a rule I have found most former fosters struggle with commitment. Backlash from our lack of modeled committed behavior on the part of our natural parents, I suppose.)

I really do not like the act of writing, in any form.  Talking oh yeah, I can talk my head off, leaving many a listener wondering if I would ever shut up or run out of things to say…NOPE.

But writing is very different for me.  Those of you who know me well know I don’t make it a secret that grew up with learning disabilities, I am dyslexic.  Although most people react to that revelation with the same shock they do when I mention the years I spent in foster care.  “Really, you don’t seem stupid” and “but if you grew up in foster care why do you seem so normal now?”   As for the latter, lots of therapy and the occasional Xanax.  Even then seem so normal, is way different than are so normal.  

As for not seeming stupid, I have perfected the art of avoidance.  I avoid writing, typing, what not at just about any cost.  To the extent that I have even been known to make Mad fill out her own permission slips, leaving me to only have to sign my name, and on occasion not knowing when, where, or how the hell she is going on that field trip any way.  I have been hearing talk of an 8^th grade trip to D.C., I don’t remember signing a check, so I think I am safe.  I won’t just wake up one day and realize she didn’t come home last night.  “What do you mean mom, you signed the permission slip for a week in D.C.”  --yeah, that is not going to happen…She is 12 and I am the meanest mommy in the world!

Anyhow… (I think it is safe to say I have a touch of ADD too)…

I started this Blog in the first place to force myself to face my writing phobia and all of the accompanying anxiety.

And in a bone-headed attempt to truly push myself, I signed up for the NaBloPoMo, Which also happened to be adoption awareness month as well.  Seriously I find myself asking on day 3 WTF was I thinking?  

So for today please check out the fantastic adoption/foster care posts by my fellow bloggers, listed on the right of my screen.  As for me I need to go pop a Xanax and look for some co-ed to score some Ritalin from so I can get cracking on tomorrows war of attrition, I mean post…I am thinking “No You May Not Borrow My Eggs”


* This post is a part of my National Adoption Awareness Month, a post every day in November campaign, to remind perspective adoptive parents that there are 140,000 kids for whom family preservation is not an option, who through no fault of their own are currently available for adoption in the U. S. foster care system, right here in our own back yard.  If you are considering adoption please consider adopting a foster child or becoming a foster parent.  It could change a child’s life.