January 2011 ~ To Tell The Truth

Friday, January 28, 2011

Spam-a-Lot?

This has to be my favorite spam-ments so far, it did make me chuckle. I have deleted it two times this week: "It's so hard to get backlinks these days, honestly i need a backlink by comments on your blog / forums or guestbook to make my website appear in search engine. I am getting desperate Now! I know you'll laugh while reading this comment !!! Here is my website penis enlargement pills I know my comments do not relate to the topic, but PLEASE HELP ME!! APPROVING MY COMMENT! Regards: Poorman"Dude while I do appreciate your honesty, I am not gonna provide you with a back link...so sorry but it is a no go, neither I nor most of my friends posses the member of which you speak. If you can come up with a worthwhile comment that relates to the topic and mentions your...

I need a break.

Mad is still has home work she hasn’t turned in. WTH? She does it and then either leaves it at home or worse takes it to school and STILL manages to forget to turn it in. Worse yet her tests and what she manages to turn in are mostly A’s. I have a whole new crop of grey hair since Christmas break. I’ll be glad to be done with 12, 13 HAS to be better…Right? I blew Ammé’s hair dry today and all afternoon CoCo wanted her hair ‘bowtie’ and walked around saying “Blow ME now, Blow ME!!!” Obviously I figured it was best not to leave the house with that one in tow. And to top it off Ammé ran into the corner...

These Boots Are Made For Walking

Everybody is talking about Oprah like this from Lorraine at Birth Mother, First mother Form: “I am not the only one who found Oprah's mother's interview and reaction to her newly found daughter, Patricia, a tad...er, difficult to watch? Turn around and hug your daughter! my mind was screaming at the TV yesterday. Apologize for not responding to your daughter's plea for confirmation and contact. At the same time, Oprah's distance and undercurrent of irritation towards her mother, Vernita Lee, was barely concealed. So, why didn't Vernita respond to her daughter's obvious plaintive plea for confirmation and contact? She wrote, as I recall, her pastor wrote, but still no response. Why? asked Oprah. Vernita said: "Because I thought it was a terrible thing for me to do, that I had done,...

The Dangerous Myth of the Inherently Damaged Child

I had heard about Dr. Phil's show featuring a Russian Adoptee, but hadn't seen it until Jay at Bad adoptee posted the video. Is it just me or is any “punishment” that begins with an adult telling a child to “get undressed right now!” WAY off limits? This is one of the major problems with misinformation and misunderstanding what attachment and attachment issues are really about. The common misconception that attachment is the root of all “evil” when dealing with fostered and adoptive children and that attachment = obedience, is putting already traumatized children at greater risk of abuse. I did not see a detached child in that clip; I saw a child who was screwed no matter what he did or said. This is why the myths about RAD are so dangero...

Are We Being Heard?

I wanted to share this comment over at PhD in parenting: "Author: Michelle Comment: "We also need to keep that dialogue respectful, regardless of whether we are criticizing our neighbor, a fellow blogger, or some anonymous woman on YouTube." If we keep the dialogue respectful then we may be listened to... we may even plant a seed of change. As a mother I am listening, changing and growing all of the time. Practices I frowned upon in my 20's (e.g. extended breastfeeding) are practices I value in my 40's - I didn't come to this change all in one go, but through conversations, studies I have read, blogs etc. maybe someone planted a seed (or several) and gradually I changed the way I thought. If the people I talked to about this were rude or disrespectful in their opinions, then I am sure...

Nuttin

I had a raging headache so I went to lay down for a minute when Mad got home. CoCo came in to check on me, I said “What’s on your face CoCo?” She said “Nuttin!” That’s right she said “NOTHING”. “Hey Mad, come here for a second, tell me what’s wrong…” Blank 12 year old look… “Um, her face?” “Oh, that? …that is her crayon ‘make-up’.” “And you watched her do it?” “Well, kind of” shrug. Carry on. CoCo is totally potty trained now. She has only wet the bed twice in the past month, unfortunately both times it was after she got out of her bed and crawled into mine. I told her...

When Is It Our Business?

Where does its not my business end and moral obligation begin? That is what I have been pondering since last week’s tragic events. Immediately after Jared Loughner killed six people and wounded a dozen more we began to learn more about what he was thinking. He had posted plenty of writings and videos on his MySpace page and YouTube. It was readily apparent to most of us, that Mr. Loughner was very unwell. I wondered where were his friends and family and what they had done to get him help? Clearly anybody who had any close personal contact with this young man must have been aware that he was in need of serious psychological intervention. Over the past week we have learned that he had had numerous incidents at his university in which he frightened...

My super Hero Name - Foster Girl

Some times I long for old-fashioned gender roles – like when something electrical needs to be rewired, or plumbing needs to be reassembled or when my husband is pointing to the huge hairy spider he would like me to kill for hi...

Calling All Lurkers and Readers

According to a few of the blogs I read today is national de-lurking day. Lurkers in blog-speak are people who read but don't follow publicly or comment, which is just fine and totally awesome! But today is the day that we ask our Lurkers to come out of the bloggy closet and leave a comment. You don't have to sign in, you can just use your name, email address (won't be shown publicly, it doesn't even have to be real), and your blog address if you have one, so readers can be linked back to your blog. *if you are a blogger, don't forget to check the commentluv box, and enter your blog address again to create a link to you most recent post. So, whether you comment all the time or this is your first, please - Stand Up and tell us about Y...

Dearest Kevin You are with God in Heaven

After the loss of her 3 year old nephew, Allie over at the Fresh Confessions of a Screwed up Texan is sharing the story and asking for some help for her brother and his family. Please stop by and show some her some support. I, like Allie stated, have only caught a small glimpse of what Kevin’s parents are going threw, and I cannot even begin to imagine their heartache. Dearest Kevin You are with God in Hea...

Just Nod And Move On!

Of all things! I came in from shopping, my family was “starving”, and so before I did any thing including taking off my coat I turned on the oven washed the potatoes and quickly popped them in the oven. Wouldn’t you know…the top of the oven melted a hole in my only winter coat. My black down coat, luckily (I guess) the shell was two layers, so it only burned the outer black one and left the inner white liner containing the feathers in tact. Instead of a useless coat with feathers spewing out of it I have a very “useful” black down coat with a very obvious white hole on the right sleeve. Not much inspires me to tears,...

This Must Stop!

More on the use of restraint, this is a video featured in the Huffington post Child In City Custody Has Arm Broken By Staff (VIDEO) I am hoping that because there seems to be some real discussion about the use of physical restraint on kids in foster care that we as a society are coming into a new understanding of children’s right and that we will no longer tolerate these unwarranted assaults on children just because they are unwanted, thrown away, adopted, emotionally challenged, autistic or have other special needs and or are in foster care or the juvenile justice system. It is inexcusable to physically attack a child throw them down on the ground and kneel on him, let alone break their arm when they were NOT being combative! Really, there is NO EXCUSE! ...

A Tragic Result of a Failure to Act

Angellika Arndt Some of you may have read the guest post I did for SweetButterBliss about “therapeutic restraint”, so you may know that this subject is one very close to my heart. Please take a moment and read Dr. Jean Mercer’s post When Restraint Should Be "Prescription Only", this is a very important issue in the adoption, foster care worlds and children’s rights in general. “Deaths like Angellika’s are a rare but very possible result of the use of physical restraint by professional caregivers whose actions are poorly supervised and regulated, and whose training has been superficial. Given a powerful weapon to control...

Off The Junk

So I have been a slug, slug like - hell, a sloth. I got tired of the vicious cycle of exhausted, caffeine, crash, caffeine, insomnia, exhaustion…so I decided to give up caffeine generally, the 2 Gallons of Diet Coke I was drinking daily specifically. I had to plan it out and wean myself off the junk (Diet Coke) over a week with a protocol that would rival that of a methadone clinic’s. I barely got any headaches. It has been two weeks and I have managed to stop the vicious cycle of exhausted, caffeine, crash…Now it is just exhausted, exhausted, exhausted… I am sure the people a Coke have assembled a team to evaluate...